Here is what every team should do on draft day. Warning: This is 100% accurate.

Follow our social medias @couchreportfootball @couchreportbasketball

#1 QB, Kyler Murray, Oklahoma

Biggest Needs: Fans, Offense, Defense

The Cardinals seem to be all in on the college star. Josh Rosen stood no chance. Rumors of them not being interested in Murray are a smokescreen.

#2 DE, Nick Bosa, Ohio State

Biggest Needs: No Injuries

The 49ers will bolster up their defensive line. Nick Bosa is the consensus #2 pick.

#3 DT, Quinnen Willams, Alabama

Biggest Needs: WR, Offensive line

The Jets will draft a superstar for years to come in Quinnen Williams. He and Leonard will form one of the most formidable defensive lines.

#4 OLB, Josh Allen, Kentucky

Biggest Needs: Scouts, Money, Defense, Speed

He’s like Khalil Mack but not as good.

TRADE: Broncos trade 10th pick, 2nd rounder to the Bucs.

#5 QB, Drew Lock, Missouri

Biggest Needs: QB, a new division

Joe Flacco is not elite and the Broncos need someone who is. Vic Fangio’s defense should be one of the best.

#6 QB, Dwayne Haskins, Ohio State

Biggest Needs: Fire Gettleman, Offensive Line

Watch the Giants decide to stay with Eli because “he still has a lot left”

#7 WR, DK Metcalf, Ole Miss

Biggest Needs: Primetime games, Offense

Nick Foles needs good players to throw the ball to.

#8 DE, Rashan Gary, Michigan

Biggest Needs: More ex-Patriots players

Gary plays the run great, and he gets to stay in the beautiful state of Michigan.

#9 OT, Jonah Willams, Alabama

Biggest needs: A guy like Antonio Brown, more tables for the fans, running backs, protection for Josh Allen

Josh Allen won’t have to run as much if he can drop back and throw to his core of star receivers.

#10 DT, Ed Oliver, Houston

Biggest Needs: QB, RB, WR, OLB

Oliver is very good. Tampa can pick a RB in the 2nd round with one of their two picks.

TRADE: Redskins trade 15th pick, 3rd rounder to Bengals.

#11 QB, Daniel Jones, Duke

Biggest Needs: New Owner, New Coach, New GM, QB, WR

Teams always trade up for quarterbacks. The Redskins can’t seriously be planning on starting Case Keenum. Right? Right??

#12 LB, Devin White, LSU

Biggest Needs: Receivers, Linebackers

This would be a huge steal for the Packers. White will be very good.

#13 DE, Montez Sweat, Miss St

Biggest Needs: Just about everything

This will be the first step of many for the Dolphins to become relevant agin. Fitzmagic will start the season 3-0 until they fall off a cliff and lose their next 13.

#14 CB, Greedy Williams, LSU

Biggest Needs: No Injuries, Therapists to help cope with the 28-3 game

Williams is the best defensive back in the draft, and he can line up on the opposite side of Desmond Trufant.

#15 LB, Devin Bush, Michigan

Biggest Needs: QB

Cincy already fired Marvin Lewis, so anything else at this stage is just bonus points.

#16 OT, Jawaan Taylor, Florida

Biggest Needs: A new coach, an iron wall to protect Cam, Offense

Part one of assembling an iron wall to protect Cam. If there is no iron wall, Cam will retire out of disgust.

#17 WR, Hakeem Butler, Iowa State

Biggest Needs: Fire Gettleman, Offensive Line

The Giants receivers would actually be pretty good with this pick. If Haskins is good, then the Giants offense would be scary with this Shepard, Barkley, and him.

#18 OT, Andre Dillard, Washington St

Biggest Needs: Offensive Line, Teaching Kirk Cousins to be good

Kirk Cousins could learn to play football in primetime if he has a better line, so this is a win-win.

#19 TE, T.J Hockensen, Iowa

Biggest Needs: TE

The Titans aren’t necessarily bad at any one thing they’re just extremely mediocre everywhere.

#20 CB, Byron Murphy, Washington

Biggest Needs: New Coach, TE, Receivers,

If the Steelers couldn’t win with Brown and Bell. they won’t win now.

#21 WR, N’Keal Harry, Arizona St

Biggest Needs: WR, TE, OL

Harry could be the star receiver the Seahawks need to complement Doug Baldwin and Tyler Lockett. Also they should throw more in the playoffs.

#22 DE, Brian Burns, Florida St

Biggest Needs: QB, WR, DE, MLB

The Ravens lost 5 starters on defense in free agency. Their offense is bad and their defense will be ok. No playoffs for Lamar.

TRADE: Pats trade 32nd pick, 3rd rounder to the Texans.

#23 TE, Noah Fant, Iowa

Biggest Needs: A new Owner, WR, TE, Waterboy

T̶h̶e̶ ̶P̶a̶t̶s̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶a̶d̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶n̶e̶x̶t̶ ̶A̶a̶r̶o̶n̶ ̶H̶e̶r̶n̶a̶n̶d̶e̶z̶ Fant can create mismatches downfield and might be Brady’s new favorite target since Gronk retired.

#24 RB, Josh Jacobs, Alabama

Biggest Needs: Scouts, Money, Defense, Speed, Talent

Without the guidance of their scouts, Chucky drafts another position player so his offense isn’t total trash.

#25 OT, Cody Ford, Oklahoma

Biggest Needs: Nick Foles, Alshon Jeffrey to catch the ball

Carson Wentz is injured too much, so the Eagles should draft Mr. Ford.

#26 DT, Christian Wilkins, Clemson

Biggest Needs: WR, Lineman

Wilkins is the perfect fit for the Colts. Indy is going to go 11-5 and get the 3rd seed.

#27 CB, Deandre Baker, Georgia

Biggest Needs: Scouts, Money, Defense, Speed, Talent

Earlier Chucky had threatened to trade every draft pick for the next two seasons in order to move up to get D.K Metcalf, but the scouts calmed him down from outside the draft room and convinced him to stay put.

#28 DT, Jeffery Simmons, Miss St

Biggest Needs: Birth Control for Philip Rivers

Similar to the Bengals, the Chargers have already won the offseason. They made those beautiful powder blue jerseys their primary. Jeffery Simmons is a beast who will only fall due to a Torn ACL from earlier in the year.

TRADE: Seahawks trade DE Frank Clark to the Chiefs for the 29th pick and some McDonalds gift cards from Andy Reid.

#29 DT, Dexter Lawerence, Clemson

Biggest Needs: WR, TE, OL

Trading one year of Frank Clark for 4 years of any new defensive player would be smart and it would be something that Bill Belichick would do.

#30 WR, A.J Brown, Ole Miss

Biggest Needs: Receivers, Linebackers

It makes sense to give Aaron Rodgers as many weapons as possible while he’s still at the top of the league.

#31 G/C, Eric McCoy, Texas A&M

Biggest Needs: RB, OL, LB

The Rams couldn’t run the ball in the Super Bowl. Drafting better lineman will help.

#32 OT, Dalton Rinser, Kansas State

Biggest Needs: New Coach, OL

Deshaun Watson was sacked 62 times and will literally die if the Texans don’t fix the line.

Thanks for reading our full mock draft! Check out our shop